and you're all fucked anyway.

Digger and the Pussycats 2am Pony show was definitely the best time I’ve had in ages. We were watching a friend’s band in the city beforehand, and I was worried we'd miss the 'good' songs .

I’m not a huge fan of Pony- it smells and it’s always chock-ab-block full of creeps, but it was so busy on Friday it didn’t matter.

We were all a bit drunk, and nearly lashed 10 minutes after arriving there in favour of getting food and going to bed, but as we were walking out of the room we heard the seductive guitar notes of ‘I want to be your slut’, so we came back and the song cured our sickness.

Our new friend Lucette was there (we see her nearly every time we see a band), and she played a bit of drums for them in a later song.

When they played ‘Coming to get you’ they said, “This is for Madi”, which was exciting know that finally my high intensity fandom has paid off haha.

Good times.

i'm livin' on the breadline.

I've been to as more Digger and the Pussycats gigs than my age in years, and only the other week did I start to tire.

Except that I didn't really tire of the band, I was more tired from catching a plethora of trams to meet my little brother in the city and take him out to see his first overage gig (I'm such a joker!).

He assured me that he didn't want to go, that the band would be a piece of shit (LOLOLOLOLOL), and i-won't-get-in-anyway-you-idiot-i'm-only-sixteen!

He did get in, and he handled his first use of an I.D. much better than I did. He still wasn't keen on being there, so I got him a glass of water and a seat, so he could text all his friends that he was in a real life bar and take a photo of the stamp on his wrist and post it to his Facebook wall.

Once Digger and the Pussycats finally took to the stage, they said some rude stuff, played some songs, and got sweaty as. Sweaty as what? Sweaty as... a band... i guess.

I think my brother was pretty impressed with the vulgarity of the songs and the chit chat between them, and Andy's unseated drumming. He couldn't stop smiling, and I think they're pretty good to see as your first pub band. I can't remember much about the first time I saw Digger and the Pussycats, because I was three-quarters totaled, but I do remember having a good time and harrassing the band and being general embarrassment.

Thanks Digger and the Pussycats for uppin' my cool cred with the bro, I will be taking credit for any purchases of your CD in JB HiFi Shepparton.

Send me a cheque in the mail.

fuck 'er in the eye.

I saw all the extremities last night at the Old Bar. There was a guy who had the biggest feet I have ever seen. If only his shoes were painted red, he would be a great clown. On the other end of the scale, there was a man with the tiniest toes ever. There was also heaps heaps of torso's ranging on the hair-o-metre from gorilla to school-boy.

Buried Horses played first and were great, as per usual. I'm not overly keen on some of the new songs, but they're good to see and I was relieved not be hit with any tambourines. They tuned by playing bits of Pop Crimes, which was exciting/cool.

Teen Archer played next. I think I had the confused with the Twerps, so I wasn't really prepared for their sounds. Some of the songs were alright, but mostly I didn't like them. I spent most of my time in courtyard during this.

Assassination Collective were pretty cool. The drummer from the Stabs was in it, and he was so hairy (not as hair as Sam from Digger, though. He showed us- or the guy talking to me, Liam- his chest at one stage). There was also this girl who looked liked my year seven Geography teacher in the band. It was cute because she yelled when she sung.

Digger and the Pussycats were the same as they were last week, but I think the reason that I never really get sick of them is because of their amusing banter between songs. This time it mainly revolved around BJ's, and getting naked.

There was this drunken buffoon lady trying her hardest to get fifteen minutes of fame. She got up to sing at the end of the last song, instead of saying "oh yeah" she was shouting, "fuck 'er in the eye". It was funny at the start, then she just got annoying and kept speaking when the song had finished. The sound guy cut off the mike, but you could still hear her.

You sing like a cunt!

this song is for all the sluts out there.

Yah Yah's is really starting to frustrate me in how they state that their show will be free, then hit you with a charge at the door. I don't care about paying, but I'd like to know how much I need to save over the week to get my feet in the door

I went there to see Digger and the Pussycats for their album launch and a plethora of other bands/men that I love. Lucky I had twelve dollars in my pocket.

Precious Jules was Kim Salmon and another smaller, hairier man. Kim Salmon is shorter than expected, and aside from that and his overgrown hair-do he was LOVELY. I really think that I wish he was my husband, but the height difference (and i suppose the age difference ha) is just too much. Bad luck, Kim.

I had waited so, so, so long to see Legends of Motorsport live, and I think I was a tiny bit disappointed. All I wanted them to do was play Brunswick Ladies and they didn't do it. They were cute, nonetheless, and the singer still has the worst/best voice ever.

Digger and the Pussycats were their usual shit self, they played heaps of stuff from their new album but it seemed like a shorter that the usual short set. Andy said it was because they had been drinking for a million hours prior. They played the cunt and slut song, so I was happy.

My friend then touched a punk's mohawk, and went on search for the world greatest kebab. We met a man dressed as a lady on our journey and he took us to a drag queen party in Carlton in exchange for a cigarette, where we drank goon from clotheslines.

Don't tell my mum.

d.i.y

Holy Fuck. I am so excited! Just quietly, this press release is the best.

"Some people think they’re a pretty fun band to watch (if you’re drunk or bored because you live at home with your parents) but most people agree that Digger & The Pussycats are far from the best band in Melbourne. To be frank, they’re quite shit. But they still try hard and have managed to somehow release their fourth studio album on Spooky Records. Titled DIY, it’s sure to go down in history as a flop. You’ll be able to find it in a bargain bin at JB-Hifi before Richmond win their first game of the 2010 season. But seriously, there’s nothing else good happening on Good Friday Eve and you don’t have to go to work for four days afterwards, so you might as well come down, have some drinks and watch Digger. Or you could just come down and check out the awesome support bands Legends Of Motorsport, Kim Salmon’s new band Precious Jules and the mighty YIS and try to get laid. If you play your cards right (or is that wrong?) you might even find yourselves going home with one of the Digger boys. Now that would definitely be an Easter to forget. "

faux junkies are dreamy.

Legends of Motorsport have been escaping me all year. I didn’t discover them until I saw the fabulously bearded Richard Fyshwick play at some Fringe Fest thing whenever the Fringe Fest was on, and fall deeply in love with the song Brunswick Ladies. Ever since I brought the CD and played it incessantly in my room, my friends who had overheard their sweet, sweet sounds would never go see them (by slyly being out of town, or ‘tired’).

Once again I am unable to attend Legends of Motorsport when they play along side Dynamo at the Cherry Bar tonight. My Cherry Bar cherry will remain unpopped most likely forever, as nothing there ever really tickles my fancy (although Digger and the Pussycats are playing there this New Years Eve, except I’m busy), but then again, I never really think about going there.

I like Dynamo. They were one of the first local Melbourne bands I ever listened to. Back in my country high school my friend gave me approx. five of their badly recorded song he swiped off his brother, and I used to listen to them all. the. time.

Because I can’t go see Dynamo and Legends of Motorsport tonight, I’ll just imagine what would have happened:

I’d probably wear one of my two outfits on high rotation- the tablecloth 80s party dress or the white, lace-trimmed, short-sleeved blouse with a skirt- and go buy myself (hopefully not by myself) a beer and stand by a piece of furniture or wall with my arms crossed.

LoM would sing new album songs that I don’t know, and I would get bored until they sing the ones that I know. I’d be happy (maybe tearful- depending on my alcohol level) when they play Brunswick Ladies and then I would stroke Fyshwick’s beard and find a family of birds.

Dynamo would play, and it would be fun and nostalgic and prompt me to send annoying text messages… Afterwards the drummer would remember meeting me on Wednesday and we’d discuss his missing cymbal prompting him to go see the band about the return of the cymbal. I would follow, because they are friends with good looking men, and I’d eventually meet a tall, thin man with facial hair who looks like a junkie (but isn’t really). Then faux-junkie and I would fall in love and I’d drop out of uni and we’d spend our days kissing and moulding each others faces in clay.

I haven’t used my imagination in a long time, so please excuse me.

spooky records tenth birthday

Sixfthick were delightfully disgusting once again, on Saturday night at Spooky Records 10th Birthday. They had their way with blow-up dolls, cracked glasses on backs, and sweated and grinded against ladies in the crowd. I missed the start of their set though, as I was watching The Stabs being fucking weird on the floor upstairs in the Cobra Bar.

I really like The Stabs new album, but last night they were a bit all over the shop. By the end of the set they were all sitting on the floor, instruments abandoned (except the guitarist) and the drummer was playing the bass with his beer bottle. I'd like to see them play again though.

Digger and the Pussycats also played, and were the main drawcard to my attendance (because I'm an obsessed loser). It wasn't their best show, but that's probs because last time they played at the Tote they were AMAZING, and all of their past shows I could never find anyone to go with 'til the last minute, so I cherished each of them as I do my eyes. I'm going to miss seeing them over Summer!

I also watched a little bit of Gentle Ben and his Sensitive Side, and it wasn't too bad but the singer just peforms so much better when he's playing with Sixfthick. Maybe the lyrics for Gentle Ben are more meaningful, so he has to tone down his movements and settle for gyrating?

Who knows- i stopped listening to lyrics when I started worshipping Digger and the Pussycats.

sam?

I thought that the Arthouse was really ugly, but my more artistic, design student friends assured me that it was not. Although, I did find the quilt looking ceiling a bit cute and I shouldn't be one to feel negatively towards them as the door guy did let us in for free (and save us $6- dinner for two days).

I went there to see my friends old babysitters band. I can't remember what they were called, but the singer/guitarist looked a little like Sam from Digger and the Pussycats from a distance. They played shitty nonsense and kind of sounded like Kamikaze Trio, but I did like one song. I couldn't understand anything of the lyrics that they were shouting except i nearly got the gist of one repeated line- "bahkjhfkahfkahfkharfmotherfucker".

They had this little thing going on where the drummer would flip out on his drums and then the guitarist would start banging a spare snare- until it's legs broke (the snare, not the Sam look-a-like), and that was the end of that. But it was funny, and their show made me smile.

friday on my mind.

I really, really like the Chinese Burns.

I saw them play a couple of songs last night at Town Hall in North Melbourne and I felt like squealing. It may have something to do with the Digger and the Pussycats-esque singing drummer, but with my loser obsession aside, Chinese Burns where great. It really sucks that it was their last show and I missed most of the set.

Deaf Wish also played last night, they were pretty insane. I'd seen Jensen (?), one of the guitarists/singers do some solo stuff a few months back and have been waiting for ages to see him in a band, I think I actually forgot it though- hence this being the first time I had gone along to see them. I think I fell in love with the guitarist (the one with blonde hair). He was really trashy, jumpy and just flipping out with his guitar the whole time. I like it when musicians do that, but my eyes have been void from the experience lately. I think the best time was when the old guy from Sixfthick (wait...they're all old!) took off his shirt, slagged on his chest, rubbed it in like nobodies business and then proceed to sexually dance upon women in the crowd. I keep recommending them for a good time to friends, but nobody ever goes and sees them.

There was also a plethora of really impressive mustaches in the Town Hall on Friday.

wolfmother is for cunts.

This evening I read the following status on Facebook:

Wolfmother- live at the wireless... delicious

This was written by the boy who introduced me to ECSR before they were cool and a monstrous amount of Melbourne bands before I was eighteen and legal(which eventuated in the finding of the truly spectacular stage-show that is Digger and the Pussycats) and updated my iPod; doubling its songs like a modern day mix-tape. However, my faith in his musical choosings has come to a debilitating standstill with this recent piece of new-found knowledge.

Reading that was like the aftermath of an explosion. I was shocked, and a bit confused. Firstly, Wolfmother is a piece of shit. Secondly, I don't understand the recent uprising in the use of the word 'delicious' or 'delish' from people from my old high-school. I hate this word in referral to anything other than foods, and even then I'd prefer you to just say, "dinner was good."

Now that I know this, I'm really scared that the roots of my iTunes could involve Wolfmother. Granted, once I actually came to Melbourne and Dad trusted me enough to allow me to inherit his records prematurely, I developed a lust for shitty under-produced sounds and was able to eradicate a lot of the Triple J stylin' soundtrack of my youth.

I'm just chilling on Wikipedia and apparently the guy from Radiohead is a fan of Wolfmother. Luckily I don't like them either. I wish Radiohead and Wolfmother would collaborate on a cover of Zappa's 'Return of the Son of Monster Magnet' and instead of saying 'cream cheese', they should say 'delicious'.

Yuck..yuk? Ew.

now it's time to cut you loose.

Digger and The Pussycats and Yah Yah's are the twin peaks of my musical love and when they come together I get weak at the knees. Once before I had shrilly and hysterically professed my inundated love for Digger and the Pussycats orange haired drummer at a gig at Yah Yah's, but no need for embarrassment (I have no shame when it comes to barely know musicians), he remembered my name. I have continually been smashed off my face at every gig post my inaugural one. I have only ever been to one of their gigs sober, and that was last Friday at the Tote for their farewell show.

It was trashy garage punk rock at its finest and hilarity ensued with the drummer releasing his body from his clothes. He didn't have the finest body in the room, but he still banged his drums as vigorously as his chest was flouncing spasmodically. They were joined by a myriad- okay, maybe only four- guests from the crowd; a tambourinist, a maraccarer, a shitty single-hand drummer, and a tiny raucous-voiced lady. They were all shit, but all added to the amazingness of the night. I'm going to miss their live shows.

With Digger and the Pussycats departure from the country and the sobering realisation that as beautifully crap their music is, the drummers moobs made my retinas cringe a little. I think it's time for me to find a new lesser-know Melbourne musician to give my hand, face and heart to.